First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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