all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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