It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
