that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
