that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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