Pants 0. Shit 1.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
