I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
