Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
this will be a night to untag.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
