If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
