# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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