how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
home. puking in laundry basket.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
