I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
