Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
