I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
