Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize