my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
