I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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