i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
