She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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