dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize