Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
she was so not down for the gang bang
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
