More tranny stories later!
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
