No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You may now shotgun with the bride
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
