fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
