clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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