The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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