Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
