Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
