That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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