I wish I could punch you in the face.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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