you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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