Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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