Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
