that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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