so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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