Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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