I want to stick my p in your. b.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
