batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
