Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
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