So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
