So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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