the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
