I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Drunk is a universal language darling
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
