I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
