Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
