oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
