Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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