i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Dear god my vagina.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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