You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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