Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
