How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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