it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
