I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
